Malignant Self. Love - Narcissism Revisited. Malignant. Self Love. Narcissism Revisited. Revised Printing. Sam Vaknin, Ph. D. The Author is NOT a Mental. Health Professional. The Author is certified in. Counselling Techniques by Brainbench. This book, or any part thereof, may not be used orreproduced. Lidija Rangelovska – write to. I am. sure it will be appreciated in a library, classroom or among the mental health. Read 'Malignant Self Love' so you will understand that you are NOT. I cannot recommend. Visit the Author's Web site: http:// Buy other books about pathological narcissism and relationships. Pierce & Arden Rose On The New Season 'Sweet Vicious': Taylor Dearden & Eliza Bennett Discuss Their Characters; Haley & Emily Ferguson: Ben Higgins. Michael Jackson’s Mother Proves His Death was a Hoax. Deaths are either real or fake. With fake ones there is always a pattern of fraud and deception. CBC Digital Archives has an extensive amount of content from Radio and Television, covering a wide range of topics. Comedy Central Short Form presents the latest animations, topical sketches and web series from both established and up-and-coming comedians. It's the only place to go. Get information, facts, and pictures about India at Encyclopedia.com. Make research projects and school reports about India easy with credible articles from our FREE. Vaknin has this disorder himself and examines. The author has done probably more than anyone else to educate others. In this, his twelfth book, he shares his. Vaknin. has composed OVER 1. Frequently Asked Questions, Essays and more, contained in. Sam has designed Malignant Self Love as a 'hands- on' tool. If you want to breathe again, if you are at. NEED a change. then Malignant Self Love can give you your life back. This book is a lifesaver! He lets. you into his mind (and what a mind he has!). This book is required reading for. Irene. Matiatos, Webmisress of Verbal Abuse. But now, for the first time, Dr. Vaknin offers. much- needed first hand account of what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is. Malignant Self Love offers insight and clarity into a complex and. It is an essential and. Must Read'. Vaknin dissects and describes not only the mind of the. The. result: Our members go zooming up the learning curve of understanding the. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Our members say the knowledge gained is. You read my books, watch me on the big screen. Still doesn't ring a. Well, you have seen me. Of that I am positive. In fact, if there is one. I am absolutely sure of, it is that. Perhaps I am the one who came along. Of course you recognize me. I am your. inspiration, your role model, your saviour, your leader, your best friend, the. First I build you up because that's what. Then, out of the blue, I start tearing you down. But I. was wrong to take pity on you. You really are incompetent, disrespectful. I tell you this to your. It is my right, because it is. I behave, at home and away, in any. I want to, with total disregard for conventions, mores, or the feelings of. It is my right, because it is. I lie to your face, without a twitch or a. In fact, my lies. They are the truth, my truth. And you believe them, because. So what's the problem if the safe haven I. Surely I am worth it and then some. See what that will get you. People believe. what they see and what they see is the same wonderful me that you also saw and. What they also see is the very mixed up person that you have obviously. The more you plead for understanding, the more convinced they are that. Could it be that you were wrong about me in the. How do you think our friends will react if you. After all, they know that it really is. It is you who have disappointed me. Look at all he. frustrations you cause me. Lucky for you, I have an escape from all this, and. I. can indulge in this escape with impunity. Why, those eruptions of. Ah, it feels so good to rage. It is the expression of. Lying feels. good too, for the same reason, but nothing compares to the pleasure of exploding. In fact my raging is precisely what allows me to stay with you. Tell our friends about it. See if they can imagine what it's like, let. The more outrageous the things you say about me, the more. And don't. expect much more from your therapist either. You may tell him this or that, but. I visit him is something quite different. So what's the. therapist to believe? After all, it was you who came for help. That's what. this is all about. That simple two- letter word that, regardless of how bad I. You might even acquire some of my. This may come as a shock, but I can also be my own worst. You see, at heart my life is nothing more than. I have no idea why I do what I do, nor do I care to. In fact, the mere notion of asking the question is so repulsive to me. I employ all of my resources to repel it. I reconstruct facts, fabricate. It is a precarious. I am careful to include enough demonstrable truth. And I am forever testing that. Fortunately my real. And modern society, blessed/cursed modern society, values. I do best and thus serves as my accomplice. Even I get lost in my own. I don't recognize me either. That's probably a question you never ask. Yet I wonder about it all the time. Perhaps I am not too different. After all, that's the feedback I get. My. admirers certainly wish they were me. They just don't have the gifts I have, nor. I have to express them. That's what the universe is telling me. As long as the magic of. All I. need is an abundant fan club to stay on top of it all. So I am constantly taking. Do you see my dilemma? I use people who are dependent on me to. So really it is I who am dependent on them. I need them. to tell me that I don't need them. And at times it throws me. But even the rage, that orgasmic release of pain and anger, works. On some level I am aware of my illusions, but to admit. And that I couldn't bear. So I proclaim that what I. I create. an illusion about my creating illusions. So, no, I don't recognize me any better. Like my fans, I marvel at my own being. Then. again, sometimes I wish that I were not the person I am. You find that. confusing? How do you think it makes me feel? I need my own magic to stay. Sometimes others like me recruit me into their magic. As. long as we feed off of each other, who's the worse for wear? It only confirms my. I am no different from most other people, just. Therein lies the root of my hostility. I tear you down because in. I am envious of you because I am different. At some haunting. I see my magic for what it is and realize that people around me function. Panic stricken, I try. But if it fails, watch out. Like a solar- powered. I cease to exist. Most people strive for goals and feel good. They move toward something positive. If they get there. Even though it may invoke. It is, in a word, real. I move in the same direction but my movement is not toward. That's. why I never stop, am never content, no matter what I achieve. That negative thing seems to. I dowse myself in the light of praise and the. Like a moth, I renew the chase, again and. I succumb to it, again and again. The difference, you see, is not in the behaviour you observe. Sure, I look like them and they look like me. But we are. not the same. But you quickly. pass it off as an exception to the rule, for I am quick to revert to . But it takes an. awful lot before you truly entertain the frightening possibility that these. You –. a self- doubter by nature – might be the only one to see behind the mask. Alone. with your secret, it will drive you mad. Probably from before I learned to talk. Well, that's not how it was for me. My mother's expectations of me were. Mistakes were mistakes and crying was not the way to get her. That required being perfect, so that's exactly what I become. Not the. little awkward toddler that I was, but my mother's model child. Not the brave. and curious little person that I really was, but the fearful personification of. What you were learning from your quick recoveries was shame. At first your mother did most of the repairing. Through repetition, you. Shame repair brain circuitry was. I simply did not acquire that skill when nature had intended my brain to. That's right. needlessness. Since Mother wouldn't help me where I needed it most, I learned to. I did not need her. I became tough, self- assured, a know- it- all, a. By pretending. not to need Mother, I got what I needed from her, her love. Well, at least a. Naturally, I tried. All I needed to do was. I did not need them. By pretending, of course. Pretending. that I knew more and could do more than they did, that I was above the rules of. I was special, that I, like Peter Pan, could do and get. I wanted to. It didn't work on everybody, of course. It was usually the neediest. I became an expert at sniffing them out. But by then that's what I had become. But they were exploiting me too. I gave them what. Just as you do to. Little did they know that I needed them every bit as much as they. But there was no way I could ever admit that. For most people, to. For me. to need anything is to accept that my needlessness is all a sham. If that. dissolves, there is nothing left. At least that's what I fear. The sense of. needlessness is my addiction. But even greater. I might experience in facing life without it. But most people can deal with it. I fear it the way you. You will go to great lengths to avoid stepping on a snake. I go to. great lengths to avoid stepping on shame. More than you might think, and our numbers. Take twenty people off the street and you might well find one. It is simply not possible for that many people – highly. It is. simply not possible for so many shame- phobic robots of havoc and chaos, all. It is simply not. It is simply not. It is simply not possible. That is the enlightenment of Narcissism Revisited by Sam. Vaknin. Sam is himself one such clone. What distinguishes him is his. Not only does Sam dare ask and then. Take your seat at the double- headed. Sam guide you through the dissection. Like a brain surgeon. Sam explores and exposes the alien among us, hoping beyond. The operation is long and tedious, and at times. The parts exposed are as they are. Their validity might not hit. True, the world is replete with my. I am lots of fun to be around. And true, most contributions. But many more than you might. And if by chance you get caught in my web, I can make your. The difference. between you and me is that you can get out. Ken Heilbrunn, M. D. Seattle, Washington, USA. I'd been studying personality disorders and narcissism. Jungian, spiritual, and literary points of view. I was just not too terribly impressed with the. I replied something like, . I e- mailed him. back then, and told him of my mistake, and said I thought his work was way ahead. You just can't understand. Sam KNEW narcissism like. Most psychologists only know ABOUT. Sam UNDERSTANDS it. Paul Shirley, MSWReturn. The Habit of Identity. Warning and Disclaimer.
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